Tantrums and Razzberries

Taking my life back... Day 2

2011-06-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Today, my goal was to begin the first step of the Fly Lady Method and shine my sink. Instead, today became about learning a couple of lessons that I hope will help me along the way. Today, I learned to be flexible. I know, I'm a stay at home mom to two kids that are homeschooled. Flexibility should already be in my bag of tricks, right? Yeah... not so much. I'm kind of a creature of habit and I don't do change well. At all. It's something I have been working on for a very long time. Today, I finally accepted it.

My plans were to finish up the dishes that I didn't do yesterday (I tried, but I only got 2 loads done yesterday. I wasn't feeling well and really just didn't wanna. lol) and then shine my sink. In between taking the kids to the pool with a couple of their friends, having a picnic with Binkerella, taking everyone for a walk around the lake and getting our summer school work done. (I think realistic expectations may be on the list for tomorrow's goals... ) But when 3 extra kids showed up at the house to play, and the time for going swimming changed, and the kids decided it was the perfect day to test all the house rules, while simultaneously fighting with each other, I realized my plans were NOT going to happen. And I decided to be ok with it. Which leads me to my next lesson of the day.

I learned to avoid the guilt. This one is huge for me! I'm not saying I am totally cured of my lifelong habit of instantly falling into a pit of despair and self blame when things don't happen they way I feel they should have, but it is definitely a step. And I'm very very happy to have taken it. I may not have shined my sink today, but I kept 5 kids happy and entertained and relatively drama free all day. I took puppy out for a walk around the park and kept track of all five kids along the way and the whole time we were there. I took a shower. I finished my dishes and I made dinner. While that may not seem like a lot to you, and it definitely wasn't everything I wanted to get done today, I feel like I accomplished a lot today and I am happy with the little accomplishments I achieved.

Taking my life back... Day 1

2011-06-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

I came to a revelation recently, about why I am the way I am. Where the anger and resentment and frustration stem from. And I realized that it's the chaos. The disorganization. The lack of control. So I've decided I'm going to do something to change this. Today is the first day of this change. My goal for today was to make a plan and find a source of help and support. I've done this. I am going to use the Fly Lady system to get my house under control. In doing this, my hope is that it will free up my energy to focus my attention on my children and their education. I have a difficult decision to make on that front and I want to feel clear headed enough to make the right one. And know that I've made the right one. More on that later.

I have a rather large tendency to not stick to something when I don't feel or see results right away. Hence the need for my first goal. ;o) I'm hoping that writing about my journey here will help to give me accountability, as well as a way to track my progress and therefore see the results I need to continue. I know it's going to be a long process, but I think I'm finally ready to do what is needed to make it happen. And I think Baby Steps are the key! On that note, I think today is a success. I have a plan... Fly Lady has been kind enough to take care of that part for me. And I have found support through others that use this method on Twitter and Facebook. (If you also follow the Fly Lady method or are looking for something to help you regain control of your house and are looking for help or support, please come find me on Twitter! We could help each other!) So after looking over the Fly Lady website and seeing the Baby Steps and how to get started, I noticed that the first Baby Step in this method is to Shine Your Sink. Well, as ashamed as I am to say this... I can't currently get to my sink to shine it... and putting the dishes on the floor... would take up the whole floor at the moment. So my Baby Step for today is to do my dishes. All of them. So that I can start with Day 1 tomorrow. I'm on my way with this. My first load of dishes (yes, I have more than 1 to do) is in the dishwasher, and while I am aware that my hands work well as a dishwasher too, I'm taking baby steps, remember? LOL I'll get them done today. Because I want to. I have a reason to. A plan. And a strong desire to change the way things have been for so very long.

So there it is. Day 1 of my attempt to take back my life. I'll check in tomorrow and let you know how shining my sink went!

Nature Scavenger Hunt

2011-04-21T14:55:00.000-07:00

We have been going on nature walks nearly every day since we moved and quite frankly, it is my favorite part of the day! Today, in an effort to learn more about the local plants and animals, we went out with a purpose. A Scavenger hunt.

The goal was to find (and photograph) everything on our list. So here's how we did.

1. 4 different species of birds ✔

American Robin

I am in love with this beautiful tree!

This Cardinal was NOT easy to photograph!

2. 3 different species of other animals

(we actually only saw 2 other species... unless you count the dogs we saw being walked along the trails... which I did not get pics of.)

These geese were just chillin' on the path. Too funny

Can you see the squirrel?

3. 4 different species of plants ✔

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty productive nature walk! Everyone had fun and we got to observe some pretty cool stuff we hadn't paid attention to before. It was rather cold and looked as though it would rain at any second, so I'm thinking warmer weather may bring us better luck next time. The lack of other animals was a tad disappointing. I think we'll try another scavenger hunt (with more specific goals) when it warms up again!

When Manatees Fly!

2011-04-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

I've always had a thing for manatees. I find them completely precious! So much so, that I would bring them up in normal conversations with my son... just for fun. One day, somehow, a conversation arose about what might happen if manatees could fly. So, what started out as an inside joke between my son and I, ended up as one of the cutest drawings I've done in a while... in my opinion, anyway. ;o) What do you think?

This piece can be found for sale in my etsy shop here.

The Big Bee

2011-02-01T12:13:00.000-08:00

Since November, Binks has worked very hard to learn a list of roughly 2000 words from jazz to camaraderie, jadeite to farinaceous. He studied them every day. Sometimes without issue, and sometimes with quite a bit of protest. He wanted to participate in the school Spelling Bee. Now, because he belongs to a charter school that spans several school districts and the participants ranged from 4th to 8th graders, this was a big decision. We discussed the difficulty of the task ahead... and again when we got that list of words.

(Seriously, I had to have the dictionary app. on my phone open at all times when helping him study. If you follow my twitter or facebook, you already know my issues with that darn list!) I told him that if he decided to do this, he needed to work hard and to do his best. Even when he didn't want to. So we studied. And studied. And studied some more. Sometimes we fought, and sometimes we laughed. (some of those words were just plain ridiculous! LOL) But the studying continued until last Friday, the 28th. That was the day of the big Spelling Bee. He was so nervous. He kept asking me if I knew how many kids would be there, or if he'd really be up against 8th graders. When we got there, he went up onto the stage and hid in the very back row. He had tears in his eyes, he was so nervous. All the kids started to arrive and they lined everyone up based on a number. (I have no clue how this worked, but it was odd... and it landed my poor Binks in the #1 spot!) He was first. Each round, he was the first to get a word, the first to find out how difficult this round would be, the first to spell in front of that audience.

He looked so little up on that stage! Especially when the 8th graders got up there! They were huge! Not to mention the fact that one of them had a voice lower than my husbands! LOL It started out like you'd expect. He was nervous and sort of shy. Then people began to be eliminated. And he was still in it! Slowly, you could see the transformation in him. He began to act like a little boy up there!

He was swinging his legs back and forth (because his feet didn't touch the ground. (o: ) and play with his name tag as the other students spelled their words in the round. He wasn't as serious and the nervousness had clearly faded. He was having fun!

This is one of my favorite pictures from the Bee. It's just so apparent how "little boy" he still is... despite how grown up he is. :o)

And so the Bee continued on. Round after round, my little 4th grader stood up and spelled his word with confidence. By round 8, I could hardly contain my excitement! And then it happened. It came down to just two students. My Binks, and an eighth grade girl. They went back and forth for what seemed like forever! I wasn't sure the battle between them would ever end. Then it did. She misspelled her word. They gave him his final word. We all knew that if he spelled this last words correctly, he would win the whole thing! "Your word is orogeny." Binks took the microphone and clearly and confidently spelled his word. Correctly. I lost it! I screamed and cheered and the threw my arms up in the air. He was so happy. He was beaming, so very proud of his accomplishment! All that hard work had finally paid off. And you could just see it on his face that it felt amazing!

He won! My little boy, the one who barely came up to the shoulders of some of those other kids won the whole darn thing! He is the schools representative at the County Spelling Bee in March, and believe it or not, he's excited about it! We are taking the week off of studying those words, but we'll be back to studying soon for the next Big Bee! :oD

Fun Finds on Etsy

2011-01-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

I love Etsy. A lot. It has quickly become my very favorite time waster. I could literally spend hours just browsing all of the adorably creative handmade items on that site! It's truly amazing. Every time I go on there I find something new that I LOVE. Heheh So I decided to start sharing some of my fantastic finds with you. Hope you enjoy them!

Today's Fun Find is a shop called onenonly88

This shop has some of the cutest and most creative felt food play sets I've seen! I love all of them!

Felt Tea Party Cake

Felt Pancake Set

Don't you just love the bananas and strawberries? Everything is so perfectly crafted! LOVE

Felt Sushi Set

I think the sushi may be my favorite! Looks good enough to eat!

Check out her shop! She has some really adorable play sets and very reasonable prices!

Have fun!

I need your opinions, please!

2011-01-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

I designed this Save the Date Card last night and I'm really loving the simplicity of it! I'm just a little afraid it may be too plain... What do you think? Should I list it on Etsy or do I need to tweak it?

Love on a Wire Save the Date

Become a fan of Razzberry Designs!

2011-01-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

It sounds so silly, asking people to "like" me on my Facebook Fan Page, but that's exactly what I'm doing! I have, with some encouragement from a friend of mine, created a Fan Page on Facebook for Razzberry Designs to let more people know about my business. I'm hoping it will help spark interest and increase my "fan base". I plan to post all of my new products and business info there and this will also allow me to link my designs to some of the people I've designed them for! Stop by and visit me! :o)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Razzberry-Designs/15363338961

Books, Books, and More Books!

2011-01-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

So you may have noticed, (or maybe you haven't, in which case, I probably should have said "Please direct your attention to...") that I added a few sections to the left side of my blog. I have decided that my main goal (I don't believe in resolutions... I set goals!) is to read more in 2011. I've placed pictures of the books we are currently reading and will replace them each time we start a new book. :o) I've begun creating book lists for each of us with quality books that I would like for us to read. We will be incorporating family reading (much more-so than we have done, and hopefully with more resolve to continue it! LOL) a whole lot more into our everyday homeschooling and relax a bit (or a lot) on the Language Arts curriculum. I'm really happy with this decision and am really hoping it goes well! Are there any books or series that you really love? I'm still looking for great books to add to our lists and would love to get opinions from others. :o)

Engulfed in Wedding Bliss

2011-01-05T17:31:00.000-08:00

So, after I decided to start offering Wedding Stationery through my etsy shop, I pretty much dove, headfirst into the world of Wedding Bliss! LOL I have been designing new invitations and rsvp cards and save the date cards non-stop. It's been so much fun! And the best part? I'm getting a ton of new attention on etsy lately! I've already had someone request a quote for invitations! :oD I am so very excited about where this new avenue in my business will take me. I decided in December that I really wanted to devote more time to helping my business take off and I'm so pleased with how well received my efforts have been so far! Here are a couple of my new designs.

Lovebirds Wedding Stationery Set

Ornate Damask Wedding Stationery Set

Both designs were created using my own artwork and I'm just so thrilled with how they came out! If you'd like to see more of my designs or options, please visit my Wedding Stationery section on my etsy page.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T23:21:00.000-08:00

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and I sincerely hope that 2011 is 1000x better than 2010 for all of you... no matter how this past year has treated you! I hope this new year is the best yet! We have been doing a whole lot of relaxing and enjoying family over the holidays. Binkerella decided to stay at my mom's last night when we went to visit for her birthday, so the house has been oddly quiet with just Binks at home today! LOL. I used the quiet time to get some work done, which was pretty awesome! I revamped a few of my etsy listings and added several new items! I'm very excited about this, as I'm truly hoping to devote more time to my business this year. I'm very excited to say that I'm now offering Save the Date Cards for Weddings! I've been reluctant to get involved with wedding things (they're just so darn intimidating!) but I think it's time to dive in. Here are the new cards I've been working on.

All three of these designs can be found on my etsy page here:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/RazzberryMomma?section_id=7673215

Hopefully these will help spark some more ideas for me and give me the motivation I need to get this business off the ground!

After I got some of my work done, Binks and I decided this was the perfect night for some much needed Mommy/Binks bonding! We played the new video game that Santa brought him and then made some popcorn and watched Toy Story 3! It was really nice! I think we both really enjoyed it! I just love that movie and even the second time around, the ending made me teary. So glad we got the chance to spend some alone time together. I am going to send Binks to my mom's sometime next week before school starts up again so that I can have a bonding night with Miss Binkerella as well! I think this may become a monthly habbit. ;o)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Handmade Christmas Stockings!

2010-12-16T13:28:00.001-08:00

I love winter. It is, by far, my favorite season. I love the cold and I love being able to sit down on the couch with a big comfy throw and a cup of hot tea (or coffee!). I love wearing my soft cozy sweaters and dressing in layers. I love the chill in the air and the crisp smell. I just love winter. As it turns out, I have learned that my ability to get into the Christmas spirit is directly dependent on how cold the weather is. It seems important to tell you all of this because this past Monday it was 85 F. 85. Seriously? That's just not right... not to mention fair! Here it is, just days away from Christmas and I'm dressing my kiddos in shorts and t-shirts. Not. Cool. Well, yesterday was the first day in a very long time that the weather was cold-ish. I wanted to take advantage of it. I have been hearing about all of these Snow Days that people in other (obviously colder) parts of the country were getting and, I know this sounds silly, but I was jealous! We don't get snow here. At all. And I suppose it's for that reason that I really love the snow. Since we don't ever get to have a Snow Day and just stay home, not worry about the normal routine of school, etc. I decided that since it was finally a tad on the cold-ish side, I was calling a "Snow Day". My kiddos, a bit confused at first, were thrilled! (Especially when I said I was cancelling Math! LOL) We ignored our usual school work and decided to do a fun project to get us in the Christmas mood instead. We made Christmas Stockings. :o)

Binks' Ninja Elf, complete with throwing stars!

Binkerella's Ballerina Penguin
(I added pink tulle and a flower to the tutu after this was taken)

I am so exited about how well these turned out! Both the kiddos designed their stockings, from background color to all the elements on it! I helped with the drawing/cutting in some cases, but actually they did quite a bit of it by themselves. The kids are so happy with them, and that makes me happy!
I have been wanting to make stockings for the kids since Binks was born and just never found ones I was happy with. Ones that emphasized their distinct personalities and showcased just who they were. These definitely do the job! I will be making one for my hubby and myself next and I'm so excited to hang these up for Santa! These will be cherished for years to come. :o) I am one happy mommy.

May I Take Your Order?

2010-12-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

Miss Binkerella LOVES to play in her play kitchen. She will sit in her room for hours and make all kinds of dishes for us to eat. She grabs a little pad of paper (which also doubles as her recipe book, by the way) and goes around the house taking our orders. Then she disappears for a while (sometimes quite a long while) and returns, dressed in her little apron, carrying plates of play food and cups of pretend tea. It's rather adorable. She has been asking for some little menus for when she takes everyone's order (she doesn't like repeating what she has), so I decided to make her a few.

She has one for breakfast, one for lunch and dinner, and one for dessert. She got to choose the name for her cafe (I've changed it for blogging purposes), as well as the colors and all of the menu items. It was fun to sit down with her and come up with ideas for them together. I think my favorite part is the Chef's Special on each one! They are so uniquely her! I may also have to make her one for all the tea parties she has. ;o)

I was planning to put a small table and a couple of chairs in their room so that Binks would have a place to build with his legos. I think I may find some cute material and make her a little tablecloth so that she can use the table as a Cafe table! We have a little cash register that she really enjoys playing with too, and I've been looking for a fun way to help teach her about money, so I think setting up a little cafe for her would be great! I can't wait to have these printed out. I'm thinking I will have them printed on card stock and have them laminated so they'll be nice and durable. What do you think?

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 30

2010-12-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

Day 30:

*Whoops!! Sorry about the late post on this last one! Yesterday was super super busy!*

I am thankful that my binklets once again have a nice clean room and can find everything they want to play with without having to dig a tunnel to find it. No, seriously... it was pretty awful! LOL

Also, I am thankful for the beginning of December! I love Christmas and there are so many things that we do as a family to celebrate... all month long. And I can't wait to get started. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 29

2010-11-29T16:32:00.000-08:00

Day 29:

I am thankful for reconnecting with an old friend today! We have known each other since pre-school... PRE-school! We grew up together and were best friends for a long time! We sort of drifted apart after high school and I haven't seen her since just after Binks was born. It was so great talking with her today. Can't wait to get together! Oh, and she's preggers! :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 28

2010-11-28T20:27:00.000-08:00

Day 28:

I am thankful for board games with the kiddos. :o) I love board games and I love that I can share that with my binkies and we all have so much fun. Woohoo for game time!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 27

2010-11-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

Day 27:

I am thankful for the quiet; Calm, peaceful quiet. And also, left overs. And coffee; Definitely thankful for coffee.

30 Days of Being Thankful Day 26

2010-11-26T22:51:00.000-08:00

Day 26:

I am thankful for Black Friday sales and good times with my mom and sister. I am also thankful for family traditions, both old and new. And laughter. I'm very grateful for laughter. :o)

I am also especially thankful for my sweet hubby. I love you so much. Happy birthday Hun!!

30 Days of Being Thankful Day 25

2010-11-25T18:46:00.000-08:00

Day 25

I am thankful for my family and that we are all able to celebrate Thanksgiving together. Also, I am extremely grateful for all of the wonderfully delicious food that we prepared together. So. Very. Full.

Happy Thanksgiving!

30 Days of Being Thankful Day 24

2010-11-24T21:30:00.001-08:00

Day 24:

I am thankful for holiday preparations with the family. Lots of fun, lots of laughs, and tons of yummy food. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 23

2010-11-23T08:03:00.000-08:00

Day 23:

I am thankful for my sister... and for Chuck... and Hawaii 50. Without these, my Mondays would seriously suck. ;o) Love you Tia!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 22

2010-11-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

Day 22:

I am thankful that I am not hosting Thanksgiving at my house this year! ;o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 21

2010-11-21T18:14:00.000-08:00

Day 21:

I am thankful for my mother-in-law who has taken over cooking for the last little while and given me one less thing to do and worry about. Thank you! I appreciate it more than you can know.

Swimming in Ladybugs

2010-11-20T20:58:00.001-08:00

This came to me today when I was coloring with Binkerella. I love how it turned out and I am so happy to be drawing again... even if it is in digital form. :o)

This product can be found on my Etsy page.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/62512441/daisy-bugs-digital-art-print

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 20

2010-11-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

Day 20:

I am thankful for rainy days and hot coffee. Best possible combination. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 19

2010-11-19T16:11:00.000-08:00

Day 19:

I am thankful for getting a chance to do some planning. I haven't been able to do it for a while and it feels great to have something to go on for school days again. We've been sort of winging it the last few weeks! :o/

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 18

2010-11-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

Day 18:

I am thankful for Thursdays. And also time to myself while BOTH kiddos are at school. ;o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 17

2010-11-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

Day 17:

I am thankful that we have the ability to change our approach to a situation if the one we are currently using isn't working. I'm also thankful for second chances.

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 16

2010-11-16T21:35:00.000-08:00

Day 16:

I am thankful for the chance to take the kids to the park today. It was a great way to relax and get away from all the stress of the week. Even though it doesn't always work that way, it did today.

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 15

2010-11-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

Day 15:

I am thankful for the opportunity to get to know a sweet family (with great kids) a little better and I look forward to spending more time getting to know them, and hopefully other families like them soon. :o) Have I mentioned how much I love our Charter?

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 14

2010-11-14T21:50:00.000-08:00

Day 14:

I am thankful for perfect mommy/daughter bonding days like today. My mom (who is amazing btw!) invited my sister, Binkerella and me to a Sugar Plum Tea today. It was beautiful, and given Binkerella's proclivity towards tea parties, and just being dressed up and acting "fancy" in general, it was perfect. I got a chance to spend some time with my mom and my baby girl. It was wonderful. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 13

2010-11-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

Day 13:

I am thankful for my recently cleaned (and thus far, kept up!!) laundry room. I hate laundry. A whole stinkin' lot. But since I got the urge to clean that most hated disaster of a room, I've done multiple loads of it. As many as three a day! I have done, at the very least, a load every day since it was cleaned. Amazing what a clean working environment will do for motivation!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 12

2010-11-12T21:31:00.000-08:00

Day 12:

I am thankful for the ability to get our schoolwork accomplished in a laid back setting, all while having a very relaxing and restful day. And also for Terriers. I've come to love that show. ;o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 11

2010-11-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

Day 11:

I am thankful to have so very many people in my life that would do absolutely anything to help out my kiddos in any way they can! I love you all so very much. We are truly blessed to have you so close by!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 10

2010-11-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

Day 10:

I am thankful for the opportunity to relax with my hubby after a VERY stressful and nerve-wracking day. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 9

2010-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

Day 9:

I am thankful for finally getting the motivation to tackle the dirtiest room in our house... Our laundry room. It was cleaned, top to bottom, inside and out. It is now spotless and organized. For this I am especially grateful.

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 8

2010-11-08T15:27:00.000-08:00

Day 8:

I am thankful for the amazing friends that my kiddos have made. I am a firm believer in how important it is to surround yourself with people who are kind, considerate and basically make you want to be the best person you can be. Through our fantastic Charter, both my kids and I have had the opportunity to form some wonderful friendships with some amazing families who do just that... for all of us. And for that, I am truly grateful. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 7

2010-11-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

Day 7:

I am thankful that we had the opportunity to be a part of the First Lego League Competition today! It was such an amazing journey and such a wonderful and exciting learning experience for all of the kids! Binks has had a blast and has learned so very much more than I would have EVER expected from a "Lego" class. It is an absolutely wonderful program that is all about finding innovative ways to bring children into the engineering field. If you get the chance to participate in one of these events, I highly recommend it!! It is awesome and the kids learn so so much! Just amazing!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 6

2010-11-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

Day 6:

I am thankful that my children have each other. Even though if you were present in my house on any given day, you'd likely be witness to any number of fights, brawls or arguments, I'm convinced they really do love each other and I know neither of them *really* likes to be without the other. (Though you'd never know it by the way they talk and act!) Plus, I'm sure they'll become closer once they are older and I hope they'll be glad to have each other. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 5

2010-11-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

Day 5:

I am thankful for my Mother-In-Law who from day 1, has never shown me anything but love and kindness. She welcomed me eagerly into her family with love and support and I love her for it.

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 4

2010-11-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

Day 4:

I am thankful for my family. My hubby, who works hard to allow our children to have the opportunity to be homeschooled and my amazing binklets, who despite their innate ability to drive me up the wall on occasion, I simply wouldn't know what to do without! I love you all so very much!

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 3

2010-11-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Day 3:

I am thankful for my wonderful ES (Education Specialist), who goes above and beyond to answer all of my questions and get me any extra materials I may need. She is always available to help me in any way she can and is always working to make sure I feel confident and prepared to teach my children. I heart her. :o)

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 2

2010-11-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

Day 2:

I am thankful for all of the people in my life who are so willing to help out wherever they can (especially my mom!).

30 Days of Being Thankful... Day 1

2010-11-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

*This idea was totally stolen from a friend of mine, but I loved it so much, I'm hoping she won't mind. ;o)*

Day 1:

I am thankful for the ability to homeschool my kidlets and for all of the opportunities they have through our amazing Charter School!

Bee You!

2010-10-17T17:01:00.001-07:00

Inspired by a friend's daughter who, despite her mommy being a tomboy for as long as I can remember (and I'm talking 6th grade!) has decided that she LOVES pink frilly tutus, and my own little fashion Diva, who wouldn't be caught dead leaving the house looking anything but Fabulous, I created this piece yesterday.

I love it! It is the first in a new series called Bee Your Best. I'm hoping to work on another one tonight... if time allows. In my mind, the story goes like this:

Little Kailey was set to be a bumble bee in her school play. When she got the costume, she found it boring and a little too similar to the other bee costumes. She wanted to stand out, to look a little more like, well her. So she decided to "fix it". She changed the antennae to flowers (because they are much prettier!) and added just a touch of sparkle and pizazz to the body. A pair of hot pink striped leg warmers and some glitter glue on the wings, and she was all set! Just look how proud of her new costume she is now! ;o)

This piece is now listed on my Etsy page.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/59175023/bee-you-digital-art-print?ref=v1_other_1

Owly Baby

2010-10-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

I have been in an "owly" kind of mood lately. I created the baby shower invitation a couple weeks back and thought it would be cute to create a storyboard showing some of the amazing Etsy products for new babies involving owls. Seriously, who wouldn't love to get this bundle at their baby shower?!

New Artwork!

2010-10-11T20:58:00.001-07:00

I'm actually really excited about this... I am drawing again. And not just the little details here and there for the cards I do, but actual, by hand drawing. I've missed it and it feels really great to get back to it. The idea for this new piece came to me the other day and I actually had the chance to follow through with it right then! (A rather rare occurrence!) This is the design sketch for it. It's called Welcome Baby! :o)

It's still a work in progress and I'll likely be working on it for a while still, but I'm happy with it so far and so excited about drawing again! Hoping to make the time for many more.

I am thinking I will be offering this image on a stretched canvas once it is complete. What do you think?

**Update: This piece is now up on my etsy page. :o)**

http://www.etsy.com/listing/59098410/welcome-baby-digital-art-print-for

Inner Critic

2010-10-06T14:28:00.001-07:00

Today, I was asked what sort of situations trigger my "inner critic". I didn't know what to say... I don't think my inner critic ever takes a break. I don't remember the last time I went to bed feeling like I had done all I could do. Feeling accomplished in what I had done. Feeling self-satisfied and content. I constantly feel like I should be doing more, or like I should be doing things differently to benefit somebody else... everybody else. I am incredibly hard on myself and I feel guilty almost every day for not doing enough... not being there enough... not being good enough... not having more to give, especially when it comes to my children. I do so much for them, and quite often feel unappreciated for it and yet I constantly think of what more I could be doing... or should be doing. I feel like if I can't do everything for everyone I care about, I've somehow failed us all. I need to try to remember that there will always be more laundry and more dishes. There will always be more school work and projects. And, knowing me, there will always be more guilt. But I can't allow those things to cause me to miss out on this precious time with my kiddos while they are still young, ironically, trying to give them everything. It's hard to sit back and enjoy the moment. Especially when there is always something, it seems, that can be or needs to be done. But I have to try. For them.

First Day of Kindergarten

2010-08-26T10:28:00.001-07:00

Today was Binkerella's first day of going to Kindergarten. We do homeschool, but the kids go to workshops set up in a classroom-like setting a couple times a week. I can't believe my baby is in Kinder... isn't there some sort of rule about children growing up without mom's permission?? If there isn't then there should be! I don't like this one bit. Actually, I shouldn't say that. Both kids are at school today. At the same time. Together. In the same place. I didn't have to drop them off separately, and I don't have to pick them up at different times. And most importantly, I have the whole. Entire. Day to my self. Woot! But still, I can't help feeling like I'm losing my babies! I feel like they are slipping away from me. I know that sounds silly. They are only 9 and 5. (OMG, they are 9 and 5! Seriously, where has the time gone?) I still have a good 9 years with both of them around! But Binks is already getting too cool for his own good. It won't be long before he doesn't want anything to do with me. And Binkerella, well, I remember being a teenage girl... and even a preteen girl. The time for her to hate me and think everything I do is directly connected to making her life miserable is quickly approaching! I'm not gonna lie, the teen years... Scare me to death! Binkerella already has attitude, pouting, and arguing down to a science! LOL And Binks can already argue circles around me and questions everything I say! (Darn kids and their having to have reasons for stuff! Sheesh!) ;o) Anyway, I'm pretty sure it will be an interesting time. I'm not sure how I got from "my baby's in Kinder!" to "OMG, the teenage years!" but I guess that's just how my cooky, overly-emotional mind works today. LOL

It is such a roller coaster of mixed feelings. I am so very proud of my kiddos. I know Binkerella will do great today and she has been looking forward to it all summer, but I miss my BABIES. It just seems like they have grown so fast! They have developed and grown into beautiful, thoughtful, amazing little people and I can't get over how quickly they absorb new things and ideas. They learn more and more everyday and are starting to form their own opinions of the world and I couldn't be a prouder momma lion. I have loved watching them grow and I look forward to continuing to help them to do so. I just hope they continue to let me... just a little longer. :*o)

It's my turn for a panic attack

2010-04-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

My sister is moving in with me on Friday. I'm really excited about this! We have a pretty big gap in age and have never really had the opportunity to become as close as I'd like so I love that we've been given this opportunity. It will be great for both of us, I think. That being said, I'm freaking out just a little bit. I have under a week to get my house in order and rearrange my kids' rooms to make room for my sister. Seems like a reasonable amount of time, right? Yeah... not so much.

My dad and step mom called on Friday to let me know that they were in town this weekend (last minute so I had no warning) and wanted to stop by and say hi. This is great, but they were sort of vague (despite my attempts to explain that we were extremely busy this weekend and really didn't have a lot of time to spend) about when they would be here and kept changing plans on me, last minute. I spent much of Friday (when I wasn't at the vet with my dog) and yesterday tidying for their visit and waiting (while still trying to get my enormous piles of laundry done)... they finally arrived at 9 pm last night. Seriously. Frustrating. I had rearranged my schedule and not gotten a lot done because they had said they were coming Friday night... and then Saturday afternoon... and then Saturday evening... only to arrive late Saturday night. Any clue how much I could have accomplished (and didn't) yesterday? Ugh!

Today, I have been working with the kids to clean Binks' room. It is a disaster. Completely and totally. Of epic proportions. They have obviously been taking notes on my laziness and lack of motivation and taken it to new and amazing heights. This is my fault. I am well aware. That does not make the situation any easier to swallow, let alone deal with. The kids really don't know how to clean. Again, totally my fault. Never-the-less, frustrating as hell! It also doesn't help that Binks is a total pack-rat. He spent a good ten minutes arguing with me about why the empty mac & cheese box that was sitting on the floor in his room, all smashed up, couldn't be thrown away because it had some of his favorite Pokemon on the back of it! And another five fighting with me about why he needed to keep the falling apart handle from his old scooter... that isn't even here anymore. I'm going crazy. I'm having to sneak stuff in the trash while he's not looking. And even then, he'll see something and take it back out of the trash. I get that some of the stuff is stuff he wants to save, but I'm not asking to throw away toys! I'm just trying to get rid of the TRASH! We've spent 4 hours in there and it is nowhere near done. I need to organize everything in there and make room for Binkerella... and her stuff. And let's not forget that I still need to do her room!

This week is incredibly stressful as it is... Tomorrow, I have to take our dog Herc to the vet to have a tumor (which is going to be biopsied to find out if it is cancerous or not) between 7 and 8 in the morning. Then my dad and step mom wanted to come by again to drop off something they forgot to bring for the kids. Then I have the normal homeschooling with the kids to do, as well as some review of Math and Language Arts for Binks to make sure that he feels prepared for the Star Testing. He will be testing Tues - Thurs for most of the day. Binkerella has school on Tues and Thurs. I have a couple of orders I'm working on for work that I need to finish up. I've got the grocery shopping to do and some stuff to get for around the house for my sister (little things like more dishes and towels, etc. Things that will make her feel a bit more welcome and at home.) And to make things just a little bit more interesting, my husband is working 8 days in a row and won't be able to help me at all until Thursday. But, he is also working until 5 am on Wed night... so he'll be sleeping most of Thursday. So basically, I have to get the house ready by myself. In under a week. Along with all of the other things that go with a normal homeschooling week. And I'm stressing, just a little bit (ok, a whole freaking lot) about that.

I love my sister and I'm thrilled that she's moving in with us. I really am! But I'm so stressed about how I'm going to get all of this done before she needs to move in. I really wish I could just cross my arms and wiggle my nose and have the house be perfect and clean and ready. I wish my kids would notice my stress and stop fighting and creating more messes to clean and would just help me get things ready. I wish my husband was working a normal week and could help me. And I wish I could just relax, stop stressing and get it done without causing myself a freaking panic attack every time I think of everything that needs to be done. *sigh* I think I'm done wishing for things to be different and complaining that they're not now. I think...

He did it!

2010-04-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

I had made an arrangement with my MIL last week... after the car line episode with Binks... to start taking him to school in the morning. I noticed that he didn't behave that way when his dad would take him, so I thought maybe, just maybe, if I took myself out of the equation, he'd be better able to cope when arriving at school. So the plan was to have him spend the night on Tuesday and have her take him to school Wednesday, making sure I never entered into the situation. I would pick him up after school like usual. I informed him of the plan and prepared for the outburst. It was pretty much what I expected. Lots of tears. A tad bit of betrayal and anger mixed with a little resentment. But he finally accepted it.

So I talked to my MIL yesterday, to finalize plans and make sure everything was still a go. She wasn't feeling well. At all. Her stomach was in knots and she really needed to go to the dr. She called and the only available appointment for her to be seen was today. At 8. In the morning. I know this sounds horribly selfish, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I am very glad that she was able to be seen today. She really needed to go in. And I really didn't want her to wait out the pain until it became unbearable and she needed surgery again! I'm grateful she got in today! Truly. But I also braced myself for the reaction of Binks. See, my son doesn't really handle changes well. He tends to well, freak out a bit. He likes things to go the way they are supposed to. This is why I told him of the change of plans so early last week... so that there would be time to adjust and accept it. So that maybe this week would go better. I was not optimistic about today. I was scared. I told him that his Noni wasn't feeling well and that she wasn't going to be taking him to school today. He was thrilled. I wasn't.

I decided I needed a new tactic. I remembered the pile of books from Friday and a random comment made by my MIL. I was going to try using that gigantic pile of books to bribe... err, motivate Binks. If he could do his very best to go to school and get out of the car in the car line without throwing a fit, I would take him after school to get another book from his list. I was a little unsure of how this would go, but I thought it was worth a try, seeing as how I really couldn't think of another option. And I was, quite frankly, terrified about seeing the car line lady again.

We got ready for school this morning like normal. There were no issues. We got in the car. Complete silence, but no tears. I could see that he was struggling to keep it together... but he was! We made the U-Turn in front of his school. Still no tears. I got in the car line. I braced myself when I saw the same car line lady. Thoughts of what she must think of me, mixed with thoughts of how I would handle Binks ran through my head as I pulled to the front of the line and unlocked the door for him. He stood up. There were tears in his eyes and his bottom lip was quivering, but he stood up. He grabbed his backpack and leaned forward to give me a hug goodbye. I kissed him and told him how proud I was of him. He struggled to keep it together. A tear fell down his cheek. I told him I loved him and that I'd see him after school. He waved and walked to class. He kept himself under control! No crying, screaming, shoving, hitting or even kicking! I started to tear up, but this time, for an entirely different reason than last week. He did it! I know it was hard for him. I could see him struggling to not fall apart. But he did it! I don't think I've been this proud of him in a long time! He did it. And I'm taking him to get a new book tonight! :o)

Love of Reading

2010-04-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I took the kids to Barnes & Noble to meet with Binks' Educational Specialist for homeschooling. The kids were excited. They LOVE the bookstore. We meet our ES there twice a year, and I always schedule easy work days that day because I know we'll be there a while! We were there for about 3 hours. I told the kids I would buy them each one book to take home. Binks went through the entire section and made a pile on the ground in the corner.

Once it got to about 20, (seriously... no joke. The boy had 20 books in a pile!) I reminded him of the 1 book limit. He went to work, refining his bargaining skills, trying to get "just one more book". That boy is going to be a lawyer, I tell ya! He continued making an enormous pile of books, insisting that he would narrow it down after he was done. It was kinda cool to watch him get so excited and worked up over all the books he wanted to read. My mom called me in the middle of all of this and wanted to talk to him. He convinced her that it was unreasonable to try to narrow a pile of books the size of New jersey down to ONE! She asked me to get him 2 books for her to give him at his BDay party coming up. So he managed to change 1 to 3... LOL.

He finally finished choosing his "pile" and began sorting through them all. He had mini piles all over the place. I'm really glad there weren't a lot of people in the children's section because I'm pretty sure we were taking up the whole area! He managed to narrow his pile of now, right around 25-30 books, to just about ten. And it was hard for him, let me tell you! LOL I reminded him that, while he had done a great job of paring down... he needed to continue to do so... until he got down to 3. He was unimpressed. I went with Binkerella to look for her books (since I was getting 3 for him, I bumped her to 2.) and when I came back, he had added 2 more books to his original stack and was starting over! I could see we were gonna be there a while. I texted my MIL, telling her about the stack of books and how amusing it was to watch him try to narrow it down. She suggested I let him make a list of all the books he wants, so that he doesn't feel like he won't ever get them if not today. Genius! He made his list... and reluctantly chose his 3 books, all the while trying to get "just one more".

Losing the Battle

2010-04-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

I'm losing it... or maybe I've already lost it. I can't be sure. Yesterday was awful. Like the kind of awful that just made me think back to the days of depression when at least I could go to get ice cream and it would make everything momentarily better, and wish I had that back. I spent all of yesterday either crying... or trying really hard not to cry. I would go from totally fine one minute to evil, screaming lunatic the next, with very little happening in between to set it off. My husband kept asking what was wrong. I would just say "nothing". The truth is I don't know. I'm an irrational mess. In the last 2 weeks or so I've been Mrs. MoodSwing... I go from extreme happy to extreme anger to extreme sadness at the drop of a pin... and nothing needs to happen to set it off. My husband is the safest driver I've been in a car with and I can't even explain how scared I've been in the car with him lately. I'm crazy paranoid and panicky and I can't seem to shake the sadness. It's bad. Like the kind of bad that made me take Prozac. I hated Prozac. It made me feel dead inside. Feeling nothing sounds pretty good right now.

The kids fight constantly. And not just the bickering that siblings do... the knock down, drag out hitting and punching, name calling, insult throwing and screaming kind of fighting. Binks has stopped reserving such behavior just for his sister and has been kind enough to share it with me. I'm thrilled about this. Really. Binkerella knows exactly how to push his buttons and he lets her... every time. This morning, I went in to wake them up and gave them their clothes to get dressed. I wasn't gone more than about a minute when I hear her crying and Binks screaming at her to "get up". I go in there and he's kneeling over her like a drill sergeant, hands clenched into a fist like he was gonna hit her if she didn't do it. WTF?? She was crying uncontrollably... because she couldn't button her pants. He didn't hurt her and I don't think he really would have... he was just being a jerk... under the guise of trying to help, if that makes sense. He knew we needed to leave for school soon and he knew he could help her with her button... and he felt it was irrational of her to cry and not let him help her with her button... but why go about it like that? Why try to help at all if you're just gonna be a jerk about it? Why not just walk out?

That's how the day started. Oh... and my husband is at orientation for work today. He starts tomorrow. I should be thrilled about this. I'm not. At all. He was *just* starting to be more involved with us as a family... taking walks with us, going on outings, seeing when I've had it and stepping in... not huge, but it was a start and I was grateful for it. And now I'm on my own. Completely. Again. And he's, of course going back to nights. So he basically just won't be around ever anymore. So, now that I'm completely losing it, I have zero support at home. It kinda just keeps getting better.

I told Binks last night that I wouldn't be walking him to class anymore because he throws full blown, kicking and screaming, pulling and crying temper tantrums when I do. I told him that that behavior is not in any way acceptable and so I'm just going to make it so it can't happen. I told him I'd be dropping him off in the car line from now on. He cried for about an hour last night in bed. This morning when he got up, he was fine... until we left for school. Then he started crying. And not just crying, but wailing. Screaming. Like I had shot his dog. We got to school and I got in the car line. He cried harder. I told him to get out of the car and that I loved him and I'd see him after school. He didn't. He made excuse after excuse for why I should walk him down... making promises that he'd stop crying if I did. I told him that it wasn't an option and that cars were behind us and he needed to get out of the car. He didn't. I lost it. I screamed at him to "GET OUT OF THE CAR!" The lady at the car line turned around and stared at me. A look of pure shock and worry on her face. I then had to ask this horrified woman to please help my son out of the car. She suggested that I park and walk him to class to help him adjust since he seemed to be having a rough time this morning. She said it like I hadn't noticed... like she felt she needed to inform me that my child was an emotional wreck. I didn't need the information pointed out to me. I am ever so aware. I told her that that really couldn't happen and that I would explain after he went to class. He screamed "Mommy, I love you!" I said I loved him too but he needed to go to class now. "You don't love me as much then!" The child actually had the gaul to tell me I didn't love him as much because I wouldn't walk him to class... and watch the ensuing spectacle that followed. Along with the teacher and his classmates... for ten + minutes. I started to cry. Those words stung like a knife. My heart ached, watching him cry and fight not to go to class. The lady helped him sweetly out of the car and told him she'd walk him to class and that he'd be ok... that I'd be back soon. She then glared at me. I was a monster in her eyes. I cried harder. How could she think that was easy for me? It doesn't matter. No matter what she thinks, the fact still remains that I have no clue how to handle his separation issues. And I didn't handle it well today. I think that's quite apparent.

So, The Tooth Fairy may have forgotten to come last night...

2009-09-10T14:38:00.001-07:00

Yeah, not one of my shining, mommy-of-the-year moments. If you could have seen his sad little face this morning, I'm sure you would just hand me the "Worst Mommy Ever" trophy right now! But I'm hoping this will at least soften the blow... maybe? Just a tad? Oh man... my poor baby!

See the tiny printing in the center of the page?

Here's what it says...

And here's what it looks like next to the quarters. ;o)

She's a tiny fairy... so she wouldn't carry a great big paper, right??

My poor baby... I truly can't believe I actually forgot! It completely slipped my mind. *sigh*

I got a haircut!!

2009-06-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

It's only been like 2 or 3 years since the last one... So it's not like it's an impressive occurance or anything... lol. So here it is. First the before picture...

And now, the after picture...

So that's it... Me in all my "new do" glory! LOL

I'm really loving it... it took me a little while to get used to it and not be self conscious about the length, but I really like it now. :o)

Well, there goes that!

2009-06-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

As I write this, I'm sitting here in a puddle of my own tears. I'm so upset, I'm shaking and I just really don't know what I'm going to do. I've been struggling with the decision of whether or not to continue homeschooling next year for a few months now. Trying to make this decision has been, literally making me sick/irritable. My husband and I have always wanted our children to be homeschooled and I was absolutely thrilled when we got the chance to do it last year. This year was incredibly difficult for me and with my ongoing battle with depression, I felt incredibly overwhelmed and frustrated. Anyone who has dealt with extreme depression understands that it makes everything harder to deal with and handle. There are days when it takes every ounce of strength to just get out of bed in the morning. Add the fighting children and the lesson planning and the daily battles to get all of our work done, and I'm left feeling drained and defeated. BUT... and it's a pretty big but... both of my kids are doing so well with homeschooling. They are thriving and learning so much! Binks really doesn't want to go back to traditional school. I would feel an insane amount of guilt (not to mention failure) if I decided not to homeschool next year. But I really need a break. I really need to have some time to get myself in order. No one is benefitting from me being this way. Guilt is a pretty powerful feeling though, and I just can't seem to shake it. Not only am I giving up on something I really believe in and want to continue, but I'm giving up on something that is benefitting my children! It's not a decision I've had an easy time making, and it's still up in the air. Since it is something that is so important to me to be able to continue, I decided to try to find a few ways to make it a bit easier on me for next year. I looked into putting Binks in the Core Science and History classes that they offer at the school where he takes the workshops. Basically that would eliminate two subjects that I need to plan for (they send the work home) and it would give me a second day that he'd be at school so that we could have a break from each other and I'd have a chance to get some work done. But I'd still have Binkerella, since she's not old enough for Kinder next year. So I started looking into preschools for her. If I was able to put her in preschool 2 full days a week, it would make it soooooooo much easier on me! Binks would be gone Wed, TH and Binkerella would be gone T,TH. That would mean I'd only have them both on M&F!!! I'd have each of them by themselves one day a week so that I could give them individual (uninterrupted) attention every week, and I'd have a day without children every week!!!!! It would be perfect! Since I taught preschool before I was a mom, I'm pretty picky about where I'd put my kids for preschool, so the options were not plentiful. There were 5 preschools in the area and surrounding cities that I would consider. So I called all 5. Here's where the anger and frustration really started. Now, Binks was in private school for 1st grade (last yr) and we paid $458 a month for that school. It was a lot! And it was partly why we made the change to homeschool. I did *NOT* expect that 2 days a week of preschool would somehow cost MORE than that! I'm in tears! All five preschools were significantly more than I had expected and definitely more than we can afford. I really needed this to be an option. I really need the break from her. From both of them, really. I needed things to be easier next year to give me a chance to work on getting me out of this depression rut... maybe even work on my business that has been so severely neglected that past several months. And now that option has been completely ripped to shreds. That's just not even in the realm of possibility. I'm just so upset.

I'm sorry if this made little to no sense... I'm not really thinking straight.

Brand New Product!

2009-06-02T18:27:00.001-07:00

I am so excited to announce a brand new product at Razzberry Designs! I am now going to be offering Wall Art! I finished my first one last night and I'm very pleased with it. This is Luna, the first in a series of Fairy Prints designed for girls' rooms. I will also be doing a series for the bathroom and a series for boys' rooms. I'm really excited to see what people think of the new line and where this endeavor will take me. I would love your feedback!

Sure fire cure for the blahs!!

2009-06-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

The perfect video to cheer me up on a blah kind of day. :o) Can't help but smile when I see this!!

This is what happens when Little Miss Drama feels like her thunder is being stolen! ;o)

I feel so loved!

2009-05-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Isn't this the most fantastic picture you've ever seen?? I feel so spectacularly special... and loved! I particularly adore the flower. <3

Almost Wordless Wednesday : Who Knew?

2009-05-20T16:59:00.001-07:00

We can grow things!! Holy cow! See the green stuff coming out of the dirt in the planter? Turns out that's what is supposed to happen when you plant things. Seriously. I'm just as shocked as you are.

Homeschooling at it's finest

2009-05-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

I received this in an email the other day. I really love it. It just completely sums up everything homeschooling should be. Love it! Hope you enjoy it too. :o)

Q: How do homeschoolers change a light bulb?

A: First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison, and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill. On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture

is on the five dollar bill. Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed. And there is light. ~Author Unknown

Indulging a Fantasy

2009-05-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

So I have this dream... not an actual, subconscious thoughts while sleeping dream, but an OMG-would-I-love-to-have-this kind of dream. It begins with me waking my adorable, sleeping children who get right up with smiling faces and lots of hugs and kisses. Then, we sit down at the dining room table and eat a healthy and delicious breakfast. Everyone thanks me for the effort I put into making said breakfast. Then my darling little angels scamper off to do their chores... without needing to be asked, helping each other the whole time! (Yeah, I know... just bear with me.) After all the chores are happily and quickly done, my children come out and inform me that it's "time to do some learning!". We get all of our days work done without complaint or argument and it's not just being rushed through so that they can get to the video games quicker. Both kids work hard and actually learn things that will stay with them for longer than a day or two. )Ok, I'm over-reacting a tad... they learn quite a bit... it just seems like we spend most of our days staaaaaaaalling rather than learning.) Somewhere in the middle of all that learning and hard work, we manage to toss in a nutritious lunch (again, as a family). Then we all go out and do some gardending in the back yard, followed by a wonderful meal with lots of great recap conversation. Then the little sweethearts get themselves into the bath (without being asked!!!) the oldest even washing his hair WITH SOAP!! Once they are all clean and sweet smelling, we read a story together and then the sweet smelling darlings hop into bed and go right to sleep. No stalling or fighting... just sleeping. It's a stretch, I know... but like I said... it's a dream.

Just once, I'd like a day out with the family to *NOT* include bickering, hitting, kicking, screeching, tantrum throwing children or hubby and I arguing about how to handle said bickering, hitting, screeching, kicking and tantrum throwing children. Just once. I know that's asking a lot, seeing as how it currently takes up 3/4 of our day and all, but really, it would improve the whole mommy moral thing by like a million percent, so it seems to me that the gods wouldn't see this as completely unreasonable. A happy mommy equals a happy family, right? So then it seems only logical that *some* effort would be spent to make mommy happy... right? Yes, I know, time to come back to the real world now. But honestly, all the frustration got me thinking... What would I be willing to do for a harmonious day? One with children who, not only got along, but helped each other do their chores or just plain do something nice for each other. You know, something like... "Dear sister, can I help you with your reading today? I know it can be difficult sometimes and I'd be glad to help you." or "Oh, sweet brother, can I help you clean your rats' cage? It's a big job and I'd be happy to give you a hand with it." Unrealistic? Yes, but it's my dream and it's what keeps me sane. Don't crush my dreams!!

Thought You Might Be Interested...

2009-04-20T21:33:00.001-07:00

I was introduced to an amazing program today through Twitter. (Seriously, I'm loving that site more and more...) It is called Lemonade Day and I was absolutely amazed by how simple, yet insightful this project is. Basically, the idea behind it is to teach young children about business by having them open and operate a lemonade stand. It's an ingenious idea! When you sign up, they send you two manuals to help you get started. One is for the parent telling how to guide the child along this venture and the other is for the child(ren) telling them step by step, how to set up and run a business selling lemonade! It even talks about giving back to your community and local charities by donating a portion of the profits that are made! They have a special day set aside (May 3rd!) for all the kids in an area to launch their lemonade stands and Houston even has local celebrities come out and talk to the kids. Their whole community gets involved and shows their support for the youngsters by buying lemonade from several of the stands around the city. There are even prizes given for best tasting lemonade and best looking stand! Wouldn't it be great to have a day like this in cities all over the world? How fun would that be? And homeschool mommas, think of all the projects (and subject areas you could cover) that could be done with this! Overall it seems like such an amazing way to teach your children about every aspect of business and, even more importantly, the value of a dollar! In these trying economic times, I find it incredible that this program is working to teach children about financial responsibility and exactly what it takes to make a dollar! I just can't say enough about this program. I feel a little sad that I didn't learn about it earlier, and I still haven't decided if we are going to participate this year, since we are not in a host city, but we will definitely be participating next year, host city or not!! It sounds like a ton of fun and as a homeschooling momma, I can't help but be thrilled by the prospect of the things my kiddos will learn from this experience! I encourage you guys to check out this video and see what it's all about and maybe even get involved with your own kids, in your own community! And if any of you are near us, email me! Maybe we could set something up together! :o)

LOL! Really? Funny Finds

2009-04-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

*I meant to post this on Friday as part of my new Funny Finds segment... and I thought I did, but apparently I saved it and did *not* publish it. Oh well, funny works anytime, right?*

I was browsing the web today when I came across these. (Don't ask me how I came across them... they were just in the side bar, I swear!) Apparently these panties by Oreya are fitted with magnets that help to relieve menstrual cramps. I must say... this made me laugh my butt off! I'm not sure why... but I just had these visions of women sticking to their cell phones and refrigerators, erasing data on their laptops and such. LOL What can I say, I'm easily amused. Then I read the disclaimer at the bottom... and oh so many more vision went dancing through my head! LOL! Not that these things probably don't work... I mean it makes sense... and maybe they really help, but I couldn't get that far in my line of thinking when I saw the add... Wow, am I glad I found this site today. It provided just the laugh I needed. Make sure to read the disclaimer... it gave me quite the little chuckle. ;o)

Mommy, I beat the boss of my 4's!!

2009-04-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

If you've visited before, you've probably read about my obsession with Timez Attack. Plainly put, I love the game and I'm convinced it's one of the best (if not *the* best) way to teach the multiplication tables. Case in point... Binkerella... my 4 year old who's been playing the game for a few months now... just passed the boss in level 4! In other words... she has learned all 12 facts in her 2, 3 and now 4 times tables!! She's 4!!! My son loves playing too and I have complete confidence that they will both know their multiplication tables inside and out by the time they are done with level 12! Binkerella must ask to play the game at least once a day. I managed to be taking a video of her playing today to show my mom, when she beat the boss. Totally lucky recording, since she's been working on that boss for the last few days... but I got it, so here ya go! Enjoy!

Puppy Love

2009-04-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Isn't this the cutest little invitation? He's such a doll! I had the pleasure of designing this invite for a wonderful family that has a yellow lab that their little one just adores. The puppy at the bottom was inspired by the cake pan they are using for the party. ;o)

Things That Made Me Smile Today

2009-03-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

1. For the first time in months, both kids took a bath together and DIDN'T destroy the bathroom! They weren't even fighting or yelling the whole time! Woohoo!

2. I got to sleep in!

3. Binks made a scooter out of Tinker Toys.

4. Binkerella cleaned Binks' room... without being asked and for no other reason than "it was dirty". How stinkin' sweet is that?

5. I got to talk to my sister today. I miss her!

6. The kids had a race to see who could shoot water out of a rubber ducky at the other one faster. Hehe

7. Binkerella's devastated reaction to having to watch iCarly again today. Poor girl is doomed... it's Binks' favorite show! LOL

28 Days - Day 1

2009-03-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

So I didn't do too bad today. It's a process though, right? LOL

*Drink 8 cups of water a day and track my calorie intake
I tracked my calories today (and I didn't do too bad either! Woohoo!) and I'm still working on the water, but I should make it.

*Spend 15 minutes cleaning or organizing something in my house
I did, not one, but 2 loads of laundry!! I'm so proud of myself... I'm gonna fold them tomorrow! lol

*Spend half an hour a day working on something to improve my business
going to work on a new design idea sketch tonight after the kids go to sleep.

*Do something out of the ordinary with the kids
We did a few things today.. we did an exercise video together, we went out on the "big" trampoline and my personal favorite for the day... we had some fun with the web cam! LOL Too cute!

It was pretty hard to remember to do everything today, but I made it... hopefully it will become easier soon. (hence that whole "habit" thing. LOL)

Forming Healthy Habits

2009-03-22T12:52:00.001-07:00

A few months back, I read a blog post from my incredibly insightful and wise-beyond-his-years cousin about forming new habits. I was impressed by his dedication and humbled by his desire to become a better person and I wanted to follow in his example, but at the time, I was nowhere near where I needed to be emotionally to start something like that. I just really didn't have it in me to commit to doing anything else, ya know? But, as time has gone on, that post has remained in the back of my mind, egging me on to begin a change. To start something better. To try to be the best person I can be... someone I'm proud of. Well, I've finally de-stressed enough to make this seem doable (either that, or I've just finally hit rock bottom and I'm ready for the change... not sure which.) ;o) so I'm going to set a couple goals and see what I can do. They say 28 days makes a habit, so I want to see just how many Healthy Habits I can start in that time. I have a few long term goals that I want to accomplish, and I really believe that forming small, but important habits will help me achieve them. So basically, the plan is to set at least one small goal for each of the long term goals and hopefully, at the end of the 28 days, I'll have 4 new Healthy Habits to help me achieve my goals! Here we go...

Long Term Goals:

*Lose weight and get back in shape (If you read my last post, you've already seen this one.)

*Become more organized

*Make my business the best it can be

*Enjoy my children again (I know how bad this sounds, but I can't be alone here, can I?)

I'm starting off small, (so as not to completely destroy my chances of this actually working!) so the first set of goals is going to be pretty basic. Just stay with me.

Healthy Habit Goals:

*Drink 8 cups of water a day and track my calorie intake (I also want to do cardio a few times a week, but I'm focusing more on these right now. Starting slow, ya know?)

*Spend 15 minutes cleaning or organizing something in my house (if you know me, you'll completely understand why I'm starting so small here... housework is *not* my friend!)

*Spend half an hour a day working on something to improve my business (creating the new website, working on new designs or products, making business contacts, etc. Just so that I'm doing something everyday on top of just completing orders.)

*Do something out of the ordinary with the kids (this can be anything from making brownies, to going for a walk to look for bugs... just something to do together.)

So there you have it... my new project for the month. I will be posting my progress here so that I have some sort of accountability. If you have any suggestions or encouraging words, I'd love to hear them! And please feel free to join me! It would be great to have a buddy for support and encouragement! Wish me luck!

Day 1 of the Skinny Butt Challenge

2009-03-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's right! I'm finally ready to get rid of the grossness that surrounds my real, size 2 body. You know, the one that's currently hiding? Yeah, turns out I actually have to *work* to get it back! Who knew?

I've been uncomfortable with how I look for a while, but have been fairly unmotivated to do anything about it due to stress and well, life. So today was the first day that I actually got off my bigger-than-it-needs-to-be butt and exercised. I rode on the eliptical for 20 minutes... and man, am I out of shape! Well, technically I exercised last night. I tried to do Gilad's Total Body Workout on FitTv and I made it a whole 10 minutes... how pathetic is that?! Then I was introduced to SparkPeople.com by someone on twitter. (Man I'm loving that thing! I can get info about anything!) They have some of the coolest tools to help you along the way to getting into shape. They have everything from personalized exercise plans and meal plans, to work-out videos and a ton of stuff in between! It's really a fantastic site. I've been on it for the better part of the day setting up my exercise routine and goals for fitness and nutrition, and I still haven't seen everything there is to see! But I'm definitely feeling a whole lot more motivated to do something about the extra pounds! So I'm going to be journaling once a week about my progress and weighing in... well, telling you how much I've lost anyway. ;o) I know that peer pressure in this area is usually a good thing, so if you would like to join me, I'd love to hear how you're doing as well! It'd be great to be able to support and help each other on this journey!

Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Day 1

Goals:

weigh in - √ 131 lbs

drink 8 cups of water - √

20 mins of cardio - √

track calories for the day - √ (even if I did go way over the daily limit! LOL But hey, it's about learning what to eat and how much, right? So it's a step!)

4-5 fruits/veggies for the day - √

Winter's finally over

2009-03-17T22:17:00.001-07:00

I recently had the pleasure of designing this Save the Date card for a mommy I met on twitter. I'm loving how summery it feels with the bright colors and beachy theme. And aren't her kiddo's just too cute in their little bathing suits and sun glasses? It feels like we are finally moving away from winter now. Bring on the sun!

Otters and Penguins and Whales, Oh My!

2009-03-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

*Also known as "The World's Longest Photo Post"*

We went to Sea World on a field trip last Wednesday. We have been waiting for this trip all year, so obviously we were thrilled to go! We got up at the unbelievably early hour of 6 am so that we could get ready, have breakfast and drive for 2 hours to get there. When we arrived, we went to an educational presentation they had set up for us. It was cute! They taught us about some of the animals they work with and showed us some of the ways they train the animals.

Binkerella LOVED the little otters waving at everyone. So cute!

Of course, you can't go to Sea World without seeing the Shamu Show!

And you gotta love jumping whales in cow print... Especially when they spit water at you! Hehe

And, despite the desperate pleas of Binks to sit in the "Splash Zone", we managed to avoid the wall-o-water!

But, I think the favorite part for the binkies was the Ray tank. They both loved being able to get wet... and I'm sure the whole petting-a-ray thing was cool too. ;o) They both came away from that exhibit drenched! Not just wet, but seriously dripping wet. I was very glad I brought a change of clothes for them!

Next we went to see the dolphin show, which was entertaining as always! Binks really wanted to sit in the splash zone for this one too, but luckily, we sat on the side... at the top of the splash zone so we lucked out and didn't get wet again! (Give me a break, it was cold... and I already used the change of clothes I brought!)

We also saw a ton of other stuff while we were there, like penguins...

Teeth, I mean... sharks...

A manatee eating lettuce... I love those guys! So stinkin' cute...

Sleepy polar bears... (so sweet!)

Beluga Whales...

And my favorite picture... (yes, you are *finally* at the end of the longest photo post in history!) He came right up to Binkerella and kissed her hand. Awwww! <3

It was a great day and we had a ton of fun! I can't wait to go back again soon! If you made it this far, thank you for joining us and I hope you enjoyed all the pictures! :o)

I finally updated my photo blog!

2009-03-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! It took me for-freakin-ever, but I finally did it! My Photo Blog is officially up to date! I started a Photo Challenge at the beginning of the year to see if I could take a picture a day for an entire year (because obviously, I don't take nearly enough pictures... contrary to the *thousands* of picture files backed up on my computer). I had been posting the pictures on my homeschooling site and my myspace page and it was getting a bit overwhelming, so I thought it might be easier to just start a separate blog for it and have everything in one place. Well, I'm sure it will be easier on me in the future, but OMG, was it a pain in the butt to get it up to date! I'm so very glad it's done and I'm all caught up. I think I may have broken some kind of posting record though... lol I actually had blogger start requiring a captcha thingy for each blog because I had "posted too many blogs in one day"! I posted 68 blog posts in less than 24 hours! And those are just the ones on that blog! LOL! Also, I thought that I had missed a few days worth of taking pictures, but it turns out I only missed one day, so that's a relief as well. I did better than I thought I did! And now that I'm caught up, I can get back to being more organized about it and making sure I get great pics everyday... not just *a* pic every day.
So here's the link. I'd love to have you guys check it out and let me know what you think! And please feel free to leave comments on the pics! I'd love your opinions on them!

Hockey Lovers Birth Announcement

2009-03-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Random Ramblings: The world is about to stand still!

2009-02-26T16:52:00.002-08:00

We are switching our internet service over to another provider and I will be basically without internet until March 5th!! March 5th? OMG... how in the world will I get by?

It has come to my attention that I may be *slightly* addicted to the ol' www. I truly don't know what I'm going to do. We use the internet all day long... literally! Hell, I even do Binks' attendance on the web. A lot of our schoolwork is done on the web during the week. All of my correspondences with our ES, my friends, family (any one over the age of 7, really) is done over the web. Seriously... I'm not taking this well. Is it time for an intervention?

So just to let everyone know... I'm going to be completely out of reach (well practically!) for a while. And just in case you were wondering... I am *not* happy about it! I'll get back to posting blogs, twittering, checking message boards and answering emails, etc. in about a week. Think of me and remember me fondly! (Seriously... what am I going to do all day?) I'll miss you all! Maybe I should use this time to clean my house? Ha! That was funny!

Be back (relatively... *breathe*) soon!

Wordless Wednesday: Dress Up!

2009-02-25T15:24:00.001-08:00

I particularly like the chapstick all over her face! ;o)

Monsters!

2009-02-24T23:30:00.000-08:00

*I am having a ton of internet/blogger

issues lately and I couldn't get this to publish last night when I actually wrote it. Please imagine this was posted last night...*

I'm writing this as my precious Binkerella sleeps in her own bed... without once getting up to go in her brother's room... for the second night in a row. Now, I realize that this may not seem like a huge deal, but for us, it's an ENORMOUS deal!

Every night, it's the same routine. Bedtime story, followed by hugs and kisses and Binks and Binkerella are off to bed. I tuck them both in, come out to the front room, and then wait. What am I waiting for, you ask? I'm waiting for Binkerella to get out of her bed, sneak past the hallway and directly into her brother's room across the hall. I'm never disappointed. It always happens. It's become so regular, that my husband and I were actually considering combining them into one room. I've tried just letting it go. If she really wants to bunk in with Binks at night, why not let her, right? Well, they play... forever... when she's in his room, and when they do finally fall asleep, they're in the same, small bed, so Binks inevitably rolls over and smacks, hits, kicks her, etc. causing her to cry and wake the entire neighborhood. (...ok, so maybe it's just me and Binks... but still!) It gets old after a while. When I talked to her about staying in her room and sleeping in her bed at night time, I was told that "it's too scary in here!" So we tried several things to help it now be so scary in her room. She has two night lights. The hall light stays on until I go to bed. Her door stays open. We gave her a flashlight to scare any monsters away (because everyone knows that monsters are terrified of flashlights! Don't laugh! This worked wonders with Binks!) We make sure her closets are closed and we even put duct tape over the outlet for a ceiling fixture on her ceiling so that "no monsters can come out of it and fall on her". Nothing was working. I was about to give up and just let the girl bunk in with Binks until she outgrew this when I came across this company called CurlyQ Cuties one day on twitter. They offer the cutest custom-made monster dolls you'd ever want to see. Basically you go to their site and you design a monster. You get to choose the body type and color, type of eyes and mouth and even a shape on it's belly, and then they send you a soft plush monster that perfectly matches the one you designed! I instantly saw my opportunity. I introduced my kids to the site. I prepped them, first, by telling them that these were very special dolls. "These dolls are called 'Protection Monsters'. They keep you safe from any scary monsters that may come out at night time. That's why their eyes don't close! They are always watching over you and protecting you." My kids were intrigued! I told them they were each going to get to design what their special Protection Monster would look like and that they could make it however they wanted! Now they were really intrigued! I sat down and watched as they both grinned and giggled at all the possibilities. So many choices. Should I make a silly monster or a serious monster? After about an hour of playing around with all the options, they had both created their monsters... and named them!

Meet Orangey and Paluli. How cute are they?! Binks was certain that they'd "be here by tomorrow" and was not a happy camper when I told him that it would take them some time to make them just the way they both wanted them and then ship them to us. (side note: when I ordered them, they told us it would be about 2 weeks to get them, which I thought was pretty good considering they are made-to-order and all, but we got them in about a week! I was amazed!) He understood and then they both went off to play, checking their window to see if the mail man was bringing a package yet throughout the day. They anxiously awaited their new little monsters! Then on monday, they finally (a week is forever in kid time, you know! lol) came!

We excitedly tore into the box and found the pictures of the monsters they had designed. They giggled at the pictures, remembering how silly they both looked. I unwrapped the monsters and showed them to the kids. Binkerella gasped. She reached out and took Paluli, her brand new protection monster, in her hands and gave it a huge hug. The kind of hug that says "I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting for you!". There was such relief in her eyes... in that hug, I just can't even begin to explain it. She instantly loved that monster. Since receiving them, Orangey and Paluli have come *everywhere* with us. To the store. To lunch. To Noni's house. And most importantly... to bed! I was very eager to see if this would help our little problem with Binkerella. I am thrilled to say that last night... for the first time in a really long time... Binkerella went to bed and stayed in HER bed... all night! I thought it might just be a fluke. Tonight... same thing! She didn't get up even once! She didn't even try! She went straight to bed. No playing, no sneaking out... nothing! Those monsters have just paid for themselves 100

times over! I feel like we're in one of those cheesy Master Card commercials!

2 custom-made monsters: $50

shipping: $7.50

watching your little girl sleep in her *own* bed with her new protection monster: priceless!

So, needless to say, I'm now in love with CurlyQ Cuties! I just can't say enough about them! They offer an amazing (and very well made!) product and it has been absolutely priceless for us! Go check them out! I'd love to know what you guys think too!

Quick Update

2009-02-17T10:14:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to do a quick update to first, thank all of you for your kind words and prayers for my uncle and his family. They mean the world to me and they are greatly appreciated.

I was able to talk to my aunt and uncle today and there is still much that isn't known. They still don't know how she died or the circumstances surrounding her death. There are still LOTS of questions. The funeral will be held on Monday, with a Rosary said in her honor on Sunday. So far, that's really all I know. The autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow, so hopefully we will get some answers then. My dad and step mom will be coming to stay with us on either Saturday or Sunday. Please continue to keep my uncle's family in your thoughts and prayers. I just can't imagine losing a child and not knowing what happened on top of it!

Stress Builds Character?

2009-02-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

If that's the case, I should be filled to the brim with flippin' character!

I've recently had the pleasure of getting to know an amazing mommy who I've come to admire quite a bit. Angie is a multi-talented mother of 5 who homeschools and still manages to run her businesses and somehow find time to help me with my many questions on the side. In short, this woman is my new found hero! She just wrote a wonderful blog post about coming to grips with not being "Super Mom" and it got me thinking. How many of us are there that refuse to let the image of the mom who can do it all go? How many of us are there that refuse to ask for help, or even admit that we need it, when we are more than ready to burst from all that we have to do just so we can still maintain our "Super Mom" persona? And most importantly, are there other moms out there that would really look down on us if we didn't keep the persona up, or would they simply feel relief that they no longer had to keep it up themselves? Are we just working against each other?

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a long-time member of the disillusioned "Super Mom" club. I am convinced that I can do it all and I *hate* it when I'm proven wrong! I feel like I've not only let myself down, but my family and often my friends as well. Ridiculous right? I know I'd be thinking the same thing if it was a one of my friends that said that, so why do I hold myself to these unrealistic expectations? Why must I be my own worst enemy? I don't expect anyone else to be a "Super Mom", so why do I still feel I must be? I've heard, on several occasions, things like "The busier we are, the more we can accomplish." or "Stress builds character." usually from other moms and I must say that these have always sort of struck me as a way to excuse our habbit of taking on too much. To make it normal and almost expected that we always strive to "do it all". Phrases like those make us try harder (and feel worse when we fail) to be the perfect mom who can do everything. It makes it seem like it is what is expected of us. "Real moms always have a TON to do and they still manage to find the time to cook meals from scratch and play board games with the kids." Why do we do this to each other? Don't we have enough to deal with without having to try to keep up the obviously impossible task of being perfect? I'd bet that every mother on the planet can relate to what I'm saying in some way. We all think that we are expected to do everything for everyone and still have time to do the little things that make us mommy. Why doesn't anyone ever tell us it's ok that our stove isn't spotless and our toilet isn't scrubbed, or that we make pre-packaged meals and order in when things get super busy? Every other mommy on the planet knows (and will even try to help us understand, if we let them) that we can't do it all, not well anyway. So why do we all think we still have to try? And why do we feel like we'd be letting people down if we are unsuccessful at doing the impossible? Who are we trying to impress? Does stress really make us better people and better able to handle more things? Or does it just make us feel worse about not being able to do it all? Is being busy (and most of the time stressed) really the best way to build your character and find out how much you can handle, or have we just become accustomed to taking on more than we should because we think it's what we are supposed to do? I'm not really sure of the answer and I'd love to hear what you guys think, but I can't help but feel we are all a bit harder on ourselves than we need to be.

Thoughts and Prayers Needed

2009-02-15T11:28:00.001-08:00

I just received a phone call from my dad telling me that my cousin is dead! They are currently unsure of how it happened, or really even what happened, though, from what I can gather, foul play is expected. My dad is going to be coming here to stay with us until the funeral since my uncle and I live close by. I'm not sure of how to feel right now. She was so young! Still just a baby, really. I'm devastated for my uncle and his family! But part of me feels like it can't be real. Without details, it just doesn't seem real. Or maybe that's just the denial talking... who knows? But either way, I can't even begin to imagine what my aunt and uncle must be going through right now! Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. They need all the comfort and love they can get right now! I can't even fathom losing a child...

Why Children Need Pets

2009-02-12T19:25:00.001-08:00

Yes, that is my poor kitty, Smokey with a cat-ears headband on his head... and bows in his fur. Doesn't he just look pleased to pieces? He's such a good boy! He totally lets my little-miss-dress-up torture the heck out of him! Today, she actually wanted to paint his toenails purple so he could match her! I've mentioned before that Binkerella likes to brush his hair and even put lip gloss on him "so he looks pretty!" but it doesn't end there. She has also been known to put hats on him "because his ears were cold", lotion on him "so he could have soft fur", barrettes and clip-on earrings so "he looks fancy" and even (and this one is my favorite!) bubble bath on him "because he was dirty and stinky". We actually have two cats (the other is Bandit. LOL... though anyone under the age of 27 probably has no clue why... man, am I starting to feel old!) and they both got to enjoy the loveliness that was giving the kitties a bubble bath. That was quite an exciting day... Both cats, one of her dolls and the carpet in my bedroom were apparently very dirty because she used an ENTIRE bottle of Mr. Bubbles bubble bath. Have you ever tried to get a ton of bubble bath off of a cat? (Or out of carpet, for that matter?) Let me tell you, it's NOT the easiest thing to do! Turns out, cats don't like to be sprayed down with water in the sink. Who knew? You'll notice, though, that she always has a reason for doing the things she does and they are NEVER malicious. She's not trying to hurt him or be mean to him, she's trying to take care of him. And the funny thing is, even with all of that... he will still go in and sleep with her at night! ;o)

Heartbreaking Words

2009-02-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

I've had a barrage of hurtful and mean words thrown at me during my time as a mommy. I've come to expect them and have learned to accept the fact that things like "I hate you!" and "You're a bad mommy!" are really just code for "I'm really REALLY mad at you right now!". I understand that they don't really mean that they don't love me or think I'm a bad mommy, they are simply testing the waters and experimenting with ideas like anger and revenge. I know that I shouldn't take it personally and I've gotten decent (though it does still affect me! notice I only said "decent".) at handling these types of situations. But today was different.As I mentioned in a previous post, my kids seem to be fighting all the time now that they are both home all day and constantly around each other. Binks especially, has been rather annoyed and frustrated lately with the fact that Binkerella always seems to be around! Well, today she really ticked him off and he ran to his room and screamed something that nearly tore my heart in two. "Dang-it, Binkerella! I wish I never had you!" I'm used to this kind of stuff being directed at me, and it makes sense that it would be aimed at a sibling as well, given the family dynamic and all, but still, I was unprepared for it. I didn't quite know what to say. There was *so* much anger behind it. So much desperation and frustration. I was caught speechless... and horribly sad. She had no idea what the actual words meant, but the girl KNEW he was ticked at her, so I suppose, in that regard, he succeeded in getting his point across. But I knew what they meant, and it hurt me that he would say that. I kept him in his room for a bit so that I could collect my thoughts and cool down before I went in all kinds of hurt and angry at him. And even with that, when I went in there and started talking about it... I was still pretty upset. Not really knowing what to say, I played upon his guilt. I asked him how he would feel if something happened to Binkerella and those were the last things he got to say to her. "You mean like in Labrynth when the ogres take the baby after his sister wishes he wasn't around?" Rather frustrated by the enthusiasm in his voice at making the comparison, I said yes, that's exactly what I meant. "Bad." was all he said in resonse to my question. He'd feel bad. I told him that I understand that she makes him really angry sometimes and that it can be hard to handle her when she gets like that, and that it's completely ok and understandable for him to get angry and annoyed and even down right P O'd but it is NOT ok to say hurtful things like that to her! And that's where I lost my cool... "That is *my* little girl that you said those things about and that hurt me to hear you say them to her! How would you feel if someone said that about you? You didn't 'have' her, I did and I don't ever want to hear you say something like that to her again!" I had to hold back tears as I spoke... er yelled. (Maybe it wouldn't have hurt to wait a bit longer before going in there...) It hurt me that he could say that about my little girl, his little sister! I know that she can be quite the pill, don't get me wrong! The girl KNOWS how to push someone's buttons and delights out of doing it again and again, just to see if she can get the same reaction. She's identical to her father in that regard. She loves to get a reaction out of you... any reaction, and will continue to try until she get's one. It can be very difficult to deal with. I know! But he is just as good at letting her push them! For example, today at lunch, they literally argued for 5 full minutes about whether or not Binks wanted ketchup for his chicken nuggets! He said he didn't... she said he did. Why did this turn into an outright screaming match with fists tightened and teeth clenched? I don't get it. She was just trying to push his buttons... to get a reaction and Binks never fails to give her one! I'm not saying it's ok for her to do that and I do correct it when I see it going on, but I don't understand why he lets her get to him like that! Keeping all that in mind, I began to really wonder if maybe there wasn't a bit of truth to the words he yelled while storming into his room. It killed me. I still don't quite know what to think of it. In the logical portion of my brain, I know it was probably nothing more than him lashing out at her in anger and frustration about her being obnoxious. But I can't get those words out of my head. I know I could have handled it better, but I was just... I don't know... I guess I was hurt. Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you handle it?

Had to laugh!

2009-02-09T19:30:00.000-08:00

A while back, I found this amazing game called Timez Attack. It's an amazing resource for learning all the multiplication tables and it really makes it fun. Binks LOVED it and would literally beg me to play it! He was so fond of it that we actually purchased the full game (even though they offer a free version that is excellent) so that he would have more levels to play with. Binkerella would watch him intently while he played and pretty soon, she was playing as well! She just turned 4 and is actually learning her times tables! I was totally sold!

So Binks was playing tonight, and he's been having some difficulty learning his 8 times tables. He was doing all kinds of complaining about having to do his eights and "why couldn't he just do his 2's and 3's again", going on and on. So I gently reminded him that he already understood the concept of multiplication and that was the hard part. The rest is simply memorization. He obviously was *not* in the mood to hear that, because all that really did was get him to start complaining about how he doesn't have memorization! (LOL) I told him that everyone has the ability to memorize, it just takes time and practice. He responded with... "Binkerella doesn't." "Yes I do!" she says. So Binks decides to test her multiplication skills. "What's 8x2 then?" "8x2? I know that!" "No you don't!" he insists. To which my quick witted little princess replied "Yes I do! 8x2 is one-six!" I started cracking up! He was trying so hard to show her that she didn't know it and she totally showed him up! I know I shouldn't be laughing, but it was just too perfect! He started practicing his eights instead of complaining after that. ;o) LOL!

Just wanted to share because it made me laugh. Hope it gave you a little chuckle too.

Taking Time Out to Enjoy My Kids

2009-02-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Given the post from yesterday, I thought it would be a really good idea to take the kids out and let them play in the rain for a bit today. So we got some work done, had some lunch and got dressed all warm and cozy. (Now, keep in mind that it was not just raining, but POURING the whole day today!) So we get out there and within a minute or so, it's... not... raining! WTH? We were so bummed! We took a short walk around the complex and I watched the kids play in all the puddles and walk/jump in the ditch that had filled with water. It was fun! I'm really glad we took the time to just do something silly and fun together! Made us all feel a bit better!

Breaking the Cycle

2009-02-08T22:31:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've noticed, especially during the school week, that I seem to be stuck in this horribly vicious cycle of work, school, work, repeat. Mix in a tad of yelling (performed mostly by me, but occasionally by all), a few time-out's and a tantrum or two, topped off with a few odd hours of sleep (if I'm lucky), and you've pretty much got my day in a nutshell! It's pretty much the same thing, day after day and I've been sitting here trying to figure out how this happened. How did we became so... stuck in a day-to-day routine that didn't involve a whole lot of... fun and family togetherness? I've come to the realization that it just sort of happened. Great explanation, huh? Yeah, I thought it was pretty good too. What can I say? I'm an analytical genius!

I remember thinking to myself last year, that it was rather difficult to find the time to actually have fun together, as a family, with everything that had to be done during the week. What with Binks being in school all day, and the incredible mound of homework that followed because of the private school that he was enrolled in, it seemed school was an all-encompassing deterrent from the fun and joyful family bonding and togetherness I so desired. Couple that with the fact that daddy works nights and his days off don't happen to fall on the weekend, and it seemed family time was an impossibility. So I was thrilled when we decided to make the switch to homeschooling! I figured we'd have all kinds of fun and relaxing family time! I did the math. There are 24 hours in a day, right? School would only take 3-4 hours, I was told (and naively believed). Great! We'll say 4, just to be safe. That's a ton less than what we were spending on school at the time! Plus I'd be able to teach both kids at the same time and they could each work at their own pace! Seemed like an excellent plan so far. I continued

the equation. Work had really only been taking me a few hours a day, so I rounded up (being hopeful) and said 5 hours for work. Plus, I could get some work done during the day when the kids were playing together, now that they'd be home to do that! (Stop laughing!) So all together, we're looking at 9 hours so far. Factor in roughly 10 hours for sleep (No, really, stop laughing!) and we're at a grand total of 19 hours! That leaves a TON of time for family togetherness! That's like a whole 5 hours of pure family bonding bliss, right? OMGoodness, I couldn't have been more wrong. It doesn't work that way at all! I redid the math tonight and realized I may have forgotten a few things in my initial addition.

Missed item #1. Siblings who are around each other all day long fight more! I honestly didn't see this one coming. You'd think I would have, but I really didn't. Quite a bit of my time through out the day is spent breaking up a fight, solving a fight, or engaging one or both binkies in an activity in the hopes of preventing a fight!

Missed item #2. Networking a business by making connections and forming relationships takes time. This one, I hadn't even thought of. I knew I'd have to spend some time setting things up so that I could get myself out there a bit more, but I honestly didn't even realize the amount of work and time needed for that to happen. Oh... and let's not forget the amount of time it takes to find out all the information about how to go about accomplishing this! And then there's the actual work...

Missed item #3. Homeschooling requires planning. That means time to plan lessons and figure out how to go about presenting and teaching them. Anybody still doing the math?

Missed item #4.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I actually HAVE to clean! And, as it turns out... having everyone home all day creates a bigger mess and more to clean. I'm not the best housekeeper to begin with and I was barely getting by before... add more cleaning to do coupled with the fact that the binkies are basically going right behind me and destroying what I've just cleaned pretty much leaves chaos!

Missed item #5. Life doesn't always work the way we plan it! Stuff comes up, accidents happen, emergencies occur, friends need you, lessons are more complicated than you originally anticipated and kids rebel and resist! This was a major one! It seems like common sense would have told me at least some of this, but my eagerness to be away from what was left me blind to, and ultimately unprepared for the obstacles that lie ahead.

Armed with all the information needed to finish the math problem, I realized that there aren't actually enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that has to be done, let alone have family bonding bliss! This left me feeling rather defeated. But I started thinking... there are a ton of people who do this. It has to be possible, right? So I've decided that I'm going to make a couple of simple changes to our daily rut, I mean routine. We have made a lot of sacrifices to allow me to stay home with our kids and I want, more than anything to make the most out of this time with them. I'm going to try to go with the flow a bit more and not worry so much about getting everything done. I'm going to try to stop stressing about what still needs to be done and focus more on enjoying what we are doing and who we are doing it with. Seems simple enough, right? That's what I'm hoping. Schedules are only really helpful as a guide (I've come to realize) and I need to remember that it's ok that everything on the schedule doesn't get done. We can do it later. If we are enjoying something we can spend more time on it. The rest of the stuff will still be there. And... if there's still stuff we want to cover in school that we haven't gotten to by the end of the year... there's always sumer! ;o) Wish me luck!

My New Favorite

2009-02-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

I designed this invitation for a return client of mine. Her little one is turning 2 and is having a Minnie Mouse themed birthday party! She gave me the link to the party supplies she bought and asked me if I could make something that matched them. This is what I came up with. Her picture will go in the large circle of the Minnie head. I'm so loving this invitation. It makes me wish my little Binkerella was into Minnie Mouse! What do you guys think?

**Update: This design is now available on my etsy page!** http://www.etsy.com/listing/62291248/adorable-minnie-mouse-invitation

Introduction

2009-02-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Tantrums and Razzberries! My name is Christina and I am a Wahm of two adorable binkies (also known as children). Binks is 7 and in the second grade. He loves anything technological that he can take apart (to see how it works, of course) and anything physical that's just dangerous enough to give mom a heart attack as I'm watching him do it. He's incredibly active, but has a thirst for knowledge that just won't quit. I'm hoping eventually, the two sides will peacefully coexist! Binkerella just turned 4 and is, in every way, my little princess! She loves to play dress up and play house with her dolls, and dress up our cat with hair clippies and lip gloss. She's 4 going on 20 and has the attitude to prove it! She's about as girlie as they come, but she can keep right up with her brother when it comes time to play outside... even in her tutu and glass slippers! We started homeschooling the binkies this year and so far, we LOVE it! It's quite a change and has taken a bit of getting used to, but the freedom we have and the end result we're working toward are sooo worth it, that the rest is just details! We go through a wonderful charter school that provides us with a ton of opportunities and we're having a blast! I'm also the owner of Razzberry Designs, where I create custom announcements, invitations, photo collages and so much more. I'm still pretty new to the "business running mommy" routine and I'm still trying to find my footing, but I love what I do and I think that's important! I've met some wonderful people who have been amazing with helping me figure things out and I'm very excited to see where the business can go from here. Our life keeps us busy and is often times crazy and hectic, but we wouldn't have it any other way! Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to having you tag along on the journey that is our crazy life!